Dirty beans

When I was in Florida, the Mexican members of my family taught me how to make something called dirty beans. Mine aren't exactly like theirs, but they are pretty delicious.

1 large can of pinto beans (or a bag of dried beans if you want to cook them yourself. Or 2 cans of refried beans if you are lazy)
1 small can of pickled jalapenos
1 small can of black olives
2 links of chorizo sausage
1 small yellow onion
1 small tomato
handful of cilantro
Mexican cheese (it should be white, cojita has worked the best so far)

In a big frying pan, cook up the chorizo and onion. Once the sausage is cooked, add the drained pinto beans and mush them up with a potato masher. Stir them up to "refry" them. Add some pickled jalapeno slices and the pepper juice, some black olives (although Rosa uses green olives because she likes the saltier taste better). Add chopped up tomato. Heat clear through. Add cilantro to taste and chunks of Mexican cheese and stir. (Add cheese last so it doesn't melt too much.)

Delicioso!

Low-fat alfredo sauce

Here are two recipes, both very easy and tasty. To jazz it up, sometimes I add broccoli, shrimp, mushrooms. I am not sure if it matters if you use shredded or grated cheese, I have used both and they seem to be comparable on how they melt.

1 cn Evaporated skim milk
6 oz Parmesan cheese
Pepper to taste

Warm milk, add cheese until melted and thickened. Add pepper.

or

1/4 cup light cream cheese
1/4 cup low-fat milk
1 tablespoon flour
1 cup low-fat milk
2 tablespoons butter or margarine
1/2 cup shredded Parmesan cheese
Salt and freshly grated pepper to taste (optional)

PREPARATION:Combine cream cheese, 1/4 cup milk, and flour in a small mixing bowl. Beat until well blended. Slowly pour in remaining 1 cup milk and beat until smooth.

Melt 2 tablespoons butter in large, nonstick sauce pan over medium heat. Add the milk mixture and continue to heat, stirring constantly, until the sauce has thickened (about 4 minutes).Stir in grated Parmesan cheese, adding salt and pepper to taste if desired.

Serves 6. This recipe makes 2 cups of sauce.

Beer chicken

I am going to go ahead and post my beer chicken recipe. Also easy. And also with commentary, because I always have commentary :)

Most people grill beer chicken. If you have a grill, that will be better. If you live in a development with moronic grill rules, then you roast it in your oven. It is still delicious, I promise.

If you have one of those holders for putting the beer can up the chicken's butt, use that. If not, just make sure the can gets in there enough for the chicken to not fall over.

Open a 12-ounce can of your favorite frosty beer. Take a big glug out of it or pour a little down the drain. Some people wedge a piece of lemon, rosemary, garlic or something else delicious down in the can. I am sure that would liven it up a little. Poke some holes at the top of the can so the beer steam can get out and flavor the chicken.

Then I cover my chicken in Rendezvous grill rub, inside and out. Get it under the skin too. You can buy this grill rub online or at Rendezvous or the Memphis airport gift shop, or you can use this recipe to make your own. I really cover the chicken with rub.

Next, stick the can inside the chicken's cavity. If you don't have one of those holders, use the can and the chicken's legs to balance it for cooking. I just put it on 350 in the oven for about two hours.

It really is tasty, and I usually use the leftovers to make chicken salad the next day!

Note: I just realized that some of my "recipes" are just crazy ass instructions and you probably all sit at home going "Huh?" when you read them. If you ever have any questions or I don't make sense, just leave me a comment!

Update (and my chili recipe)

I haven't been cooking lately, because it is hard when you can't wash dishes. The last thing I made was a big pot of chili (recipe below) the day of the flood. However, I am feeling some domestic urges, so I will be getting back to normal very soon. I am thinking I might make some penne with homemade alfredo sauce tomorrow, and I know I am making chicken enchiladas Friday. Saturday I only work three hours. If I can get my roommate to calm down on his Facebook games (yes, my computer is still broken), then I will post some recipes and play catch up. You are probably all starving to death waiting for me...

My chili is nothing exciting. I have been making it the exact same way for years and everyone loves it, but it doesn't take much effort. I usually make it in the crock pot, which requires even less effort. It was nice to just make a big batch of it and eat it for several days when I was stranded last week. But, I am telling you all my secret ingredient so you should be very excited.

Ingredients:
1 pound ground beef
1/2 yellow onion
1 tsp minced garlic
1 package taco seasoning
1 can regular diced tomatoes
1 can Mexican-style diced tomatoes (I usually use Rotel)
1 can chili beans (whatever hotness you prefer)
1 can kidney beans or black beans
1 large can tomato juice
Chili powder
Tabasco sauce

Brown your beef in a skillet with onion and garlic. Once browned, add taco seasoning (That's the secret ingredient. Not chili seasoning. Taco seasoning. It gives it a better taste. You'll see.). Add the meat mixture to either a large stock pot if you are cooking it on the stove or your crock pot. Then add all the canned ingredients. (Depending on your pot size, you may not use all the tomato juice and that is ok.) Add chili powder and tobasco depending on how much heat you like, I usually just put a little shake of each, and then stir it all up and let it cook -- the longer the better.

Make some cornbread to go with it. Comfort food at it's finest.